Dear Museveni, RE: Can’t wait to see the back of your shiny head!

shiny head
credits: bitstrips

Pardon me Sir, I respect what you are, an elder that I will kneel down to greet as a well groomed ‘muganda’ girl because that is what Africans do; RESPECT ELDERS. But today, I can’t wait to see the back of your shiny head not because you’re a dictator — I don’t care about ‘western democracy’ ideals. In fact I get infuriated when the western world tries to meddle in the systems of other countries. (You’ll probably find me singing praises for Mugabe despite what the western media says). To be honest, I’ve got my own questions about democracy but sir, that’s  a topic for another day.

I can’t wait to see the back of your shiny head because in a world where students at Makerere University are developing apps that monitor forests to curb illegal logging or those that detect pneumonia, you are promising us hoes. What happened to empowering the natives of Uganda with mechanised agricultural systems? H.O.E.S??? Seriously sir, as far as I can tell, you have run down the agricultural acumen of Uganda (click here to learn more). You have had some thirty years to prove your worth to Ugandans by revolutionising the agricultural sector but alas all we see are new military tanks and state-of-the-art tear gas! I am actually starting to think your priorities are all mixed up wrong because for someone who chants about how you brought peace, you sure do have a big propensity to spend on war machinery! Karamoja suffers from constant starvation in a country that actually has a good ‘food basket’ not forgetting the rivers and lakes… Janet Museveni is the Minister of Karamoja affairs…Ooops! Hmmm, I wonder about the gold in Karamoja and the starving natives! Please clear off, sir!

I wanna see the back of your shiny head because you have the power to revamp education in our blessed nation but all you care about are your biological grandchildren and children. Hullo? That seat you occupy right now is for people with a servant heart or have you forgotten that more than 50% of our population is under the age of 20? On top of that, misusing great ideas like UPE (Universal Primary Education) as a political tool to further your selfish reign. UPE was actually a great idea birthed immaturely before systems were put in place to make sure it would be effective. How come your grandchildren do not go to UPE schools? If they did, it would prove that you have faith in the success of UPE. A little bird just whispered to me that your grandchildren go to international schools… so Sir, what exactly is missing in Uganda’s education that you have little faith in it? Your children went to Kampala Parents’ School and when Kasole (a true educator and local investor) was being stifled by ‘Crane bank’, you did nothing to help him out. Somehow, schools like Shimoni also have a sad story to tell. As an educator, who knows the value of education as a country’s development tool, I am infuriated and flabbergasted by your inability to look after teachers! Please do get lost, Sir!

I have lived through three decades which makes me an adult in my prime age and I will tell you sir, there is nothing tangible driving Uganda’s economy. Not because there’s lack of viable activities to support the economy but because you are too selfish or perhaps ‘outdated’ and ‘out of touch’ with the times. Why are the youth crying about the lack of jobs in a country as gifted by nature as Uganda is? Just for fun’s sake, let me list a few things; Agriculture, tourism and OIL? Recently, Uganda has also been named as one of the most entrepreneurial country with a rate of 28% which basically means the number of people starting businesses is quite high compared to the rest of the world. Honestly speaking, what incentives have you given us? How have you empowered local investors? How have you poured funding into the private sector? How accessible is information and funding for these hardworking citizens down to the grassroots? Sir, your joy is supposed to be seeing as many Ugandans empowered to provide employment for their fellow countrymen as well as to better the economy and not in just the success of amassing cattle at Rwakitura. Please scoot off, sir!

The health facilities alone make me cry; we have one referral hospital and let me guess, you have been in power for close to thirty years! Please don’t give me that hogwash about lack of money because I once sat down and listened to NSSF chaps give me figures about how much money they collect from the private sector (it is just a handful of the population). As I listened, I realised that the power to make a difference in our nation lies not with foreign aid but in unity, an issue you have failed to address. A unified people ruled justly and fairly is all that is needed. NSSF collects about 50 billion UGX per month from a total of 1.4 million members which is roughly 3.5% of the total population (39 million). That’s a whole lot of Ugandan money from ordinary folks like me who work really hard, that Amama Mbabazi had the audicity to play with… I’m talking about the ‘Temangalo’ saga. You cannot pour out the king’s milk unless he has given you permission to do so…there’s no way Amama could have acted alone! You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Sir! And that’s just a tip of the iceberg, there are actually statistics to prove that your regime has misused a lot of the money that could have improved the health sector, provided substantial education as well provided a livelihood for ordinary Ugandans. And don’t even get me started on the money you waste on MP allowances or scandalous corruption stories. By the way, we once had a surplus budget… that’s just a memory now! Allow me to say, please buzz off, sir!

You know the most infuriating thing about you is ‘your disregard for nature’. At one point, you wanted to give away Mabira forest to foreign investors under the guise of sugar production not forgetting that you destroyed part of Namanve forest for the coca-cola plant as though Uganda had run out of land for such expansions. FYI, Uganda’s power lies in the ability to urbanise without compromising nature, as tourism and agriculture come naturally. I will not even mention the scandal of the dams!

Your responsibility as a ‘democratic african president’ was to mentor great leaders; have you or have you not? Sshh, Don’t bore me with your response!

Don’t get me wrong, you’re not bad all they way. There are definitely good things about you. I’m thinking that you must be a great husband and dad not fogetting your ‘jajja-ship’. You are what I call a revolutionary leader, the ‘ganda’ welcomed you because they believed you would oust who they considered an evil leader. Revolutions are great but that’s all they are meant to be! Once a revolution takes on power, it should disband and let the gifted and educated leaders take over. Do you copy, sir? You have definitely outlived your glory. You have had some amazing moments like a female Vice president, establishing political stability, industrialisation and Kiira motors to name but a few.

However, it is time for you to step aside and let the new ‘exposed’ breed to take control… and I don’t mean Besigye or Amama because I feel these two are under your payroll to make the election process seem fair; but that’s just my opinion.

Sir, you are clearly ready to step down from that seat.  Rwakitura is awaiting your retirement. And don’t you worry, we will definitely call upon you for counsel. Even I cannot refute the fact that with age comes wisdom and experience.

I’ll end here today, I’m off to look for a glass of milk. But boy oh boy, I can’t wait to see the back of your shiny head.

Yours sincerely,

disgruntled African girl from UG.





15 thoughts on “Dear Museveni, RE: Can’t wait to see the back of your shiny head!

  1. I read this in an angry tone. Did you write it in an angry tone? It is absurd that the man advocated for hoes as one of his campaign strategy in this 21st century. Perhaps you could write a call to action article. You have written all the reasons to depart from this old dude, and I support it but you have not given us a solution. I would love to hear your thoughts on what you want the next leader to do or to be.


  2. Thank you for expressing my exact sentiments
    This morning i was reading about Iran’s green revolution, a large percentage of it orchestrated by the youth of IRAN who took to the streets to demand change, the kind of change they thought they were getting when they voted into office Mir Mousavi. Of course that was not to be and instead Mahmoud took over 60% of the vote and earned himself another term. Crowds took the streets demanding ‘where is our vote’ (raye-man kojast?) . Decked out in the color green, from berets, scarfs. flags, painted faced, the color green became the symbol of unity and hope for those asking for annulment of what they regarded as a fraudulent election.
    It was quite befitting also that these protests took place in Azadi square, (freedom square), and of course the revolutionary guard had other ideas in mind when they rained down blows on the protesting youth, with claims that guns were fired at the protestors.
    The Green Movement protests were a major event in Iran’s modern political history and observers claimed that protests were the largest since the Iranian Revolution of 1978-1979.
    My thoughts then shifted to our brother in Kenya, to Boniface Mwangi, an activist who calls for accountability of the government in Kenya. There are instances were Boniface has had to stand alone in the face of justice .

    Those thoughts shifted to ‘For God and my country’, i silently questioned who would stand with when we take a stand against this shiny headed man and the fuckery of a mess he is making of our country and generations to come. Sure, we stand to be arrested, beaten up (in true uganda police style) or even ‘injected’ with mysterious substances as rumour has it these are Museveni’s choice of intimidation tactics on his opponents.

    Who of us will ignite that spark that got the arab spring started, are we ready to occupy spaces in Kampala and major districts demanding free and fair elections? do we risk turning into Burundi in the face of asking Pierre to stand down?
    Someone once said to me, Uganda could never experience the election violence Kenya saw in 2007/8. I asked why, and he responded ‘they just don’t have it in them’. Can you imagine people welding machetes and going ape in the street? Well, walk to work did happen, did it not? and those Kabaka protests, granted the latter was tribal fuelled, but thats what Uganda has become, a silent tribe battle field, one you get to see playing out in major offices of government, corporatises, and during the hiring process, and also when the time comes to issue academic scholarships for study abroad programs.
    So in a way, they have it in them.
    Luckily for us, tribes have been kept out of the campaigns (i think), but if they were at the fore front, would the people go as far a bloodshed?

    Isn’t it time we had our own revolution, isn’t it time we stood up for the our children and generations to come? who is casting our votes for us, come the aftermath of February 18th, are we going to be asking ‘raye-man kojast?’


    1. Wow. That’s very well thought out and has got me thinking quite a lot. And I’ll agree with you about the tribes being kept out of the fore front… if they were at the fore front…I’m sure people would be willing to sacrifice.

      The truth is, revolutions happened at the most unexpected time and at through the most unexpected avenues! As you said, Uganda has become a silent tribe battle field… in the same way a huge revolution is brewing!

      Thank you for reading and I appreciate your responses!

      Liked by 1 person

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