My sister and I spend hours sharing our deepest thoughts with each other – often. One of the things that come up often is self esteem – but what the heck is self esteem?
Oxford languages dictionary defines self esteem as confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect. Self-esteem is generally how you view yourself — it’s also how you feel about what you can and cannot do. People that have a positive self esteem tend to feel good about themselves, what they are good at and are able to accept respect from others. A negative self esteem has people questioning their own self worth and this can sometimes be detrimental to one’s mental health.
Here’s where it gets juicy – I believe that you can actually build your self esteem, one step at a time!
How to ‘skyrocket’ your self esteem:
- Practice positive self affirmation. For a long time, I never looked at my reflection – I would cringe every time I looked in the mirror. One time, we were given assignment to stand naked in front of the mirror daily and say nice things to our bodies. It was very challenging, but worth it. Try it out – maybe not the ‘standing naked’ part, but as you brush your teeth – say out your affirmations aloud. Turn it into a ritual. By the way, you are amazing for reading my blog. I mean it as my way of affirming you.
- Learn to say ‘no’ and feel fine about it. I don’t know about you but I am a real people pleaser – saying no was so hard that I found myself agreeing to things that I wanted no part of. I have had to learn to say no over the years – I still struggle every now and then, but when I do say no – I feel good about respecting my boundaries. This is a real boost to anyone’s self esteem.
- Create healthy boundaries. Whoa… it took me a long time to understand this concept. I gained proper comprehension of this in 2017 – not too long ago. Creating healthy boundaries especially around family members has been the biggest hurdle for me. Boundaries are your own way of ensuring that you feel safe and enforcing them though feedback and clear communication allows you to be your authentic self and is a boost to your self esteem.
- Forget past mistakes – use them as a learning platform. Can’t stress this enough. If you are anything like me (a virgo moon) – overthinking is a problem. I tend to ruminate on mistakes till I have myself in a frenzy. Over the years, I have learnt to quiet my mind and actually change my view of mistakes – a chance to learn and do things better the next time around. This has been revolutionary for my sense of self worth. You are not the first and you will not be the last, no one is perfect — be kind to yourself and forget past mistakes.
- Curate your circle. The people you spend time with can either make you or break you. Be around people that challenge you enough to want to be better than you were yesterday, but can also celebrate your wins with glee. Having great bunch of people are around is a definite boost to one’s esteem.
- Be honest about your strengths and weakness. When you are self aware in a healthy way, no one and I repeat no one can use your shortcomings against you. If figuring out this is hard, have conversations with trusted friends or family that see you better than you see yourself. Knowing who you are is a powerful tool.
- Lend a helping hand. Most of the time, lending a helping hand costs $0. (Kindness goes a long way – this is a whole blog post for another time.) The intrinsic value that comes from making someone’s day is invaluable, great for your mental health and a boost to self esteem.
- Get active. Look – we get told about this all the time and here I am saying it again – GET ACTIVE! Dance, walk, exercise, play (yes, like a kid) – just move as much as you can. Besides improving your bone strength, being active also helps create ‘happy hormones’ in your body which are great for high energy levels and a major boost to your esteem.
Glad you read to this point and good luck with boosting your self esteem. We all need this! Leave a comment and let other readers know how we can get our esteem high.